kit... a journey

movin' on up!

2010-07-18T12:18:00.000-07:00

I have moved...

http://kitmcf.wordpress.com/

my life is just a slow train crawlling up a hill...

2010-07-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

So my first weigh in last night and I lost half a pound at weigh in which I was ok about...right before weigh in I got on the scales in the house which showed I had put on 3 and a half! Apparently I had them in the wrong place where the floor is not even because on my return they did match the meetings ones.

I'm exhausted from commuting to London every day to teach. I'm very thankful to have work but it is a very long day, getting up at 5.30am or a bit later to get train after train. So far I haven't got lost at least! The earliest I get home is 5pm so a very long day traveling and commuting for me. It should be worth it though to have some money!!

There's always gonna be another mountain...

2010-07-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

I am a bit down today, mostly over money and jobs. I'm thrilled to have a job for September, but in the mean time I need things to start happening for us.

I don't know when we will hear about Daniel's interview or how to proceed next if he doesn't get it.

I know we will never go hungry and will always have a roof over our heads but we still need to pay some bills. We both feel a bit stifled right now. We can't really do much, go out and have fun or be as free as we would like.

I am really hoping my agency gets me work all week which would be enough to keep us going. If they don't I may have to sign up with another agency.

This is all.

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing...

2010-07-08T23:58:00.001-07:00

Good morning all. In good news I got a job for September! It was quite a crazy day, as I was on the train going to my interview at one school, my agency called and asked me to go straight to another one when I was finished. To say I got a bit flustered would be an understatement! However I went, and it turned out to be the better option for me. I liked the first school but they offered me a maternity cover, the second was for the full year with a view to being permanent in the future.

I will be teaching in the Early Years unit, with a mixed Nursery/Reception class but only as my focus group, it is operating as an Early Years Unit and so a lot of free flow going on between rooms and outdoor areas. I'm excited but need to get some income for the immediate time, hopefully some supply next week.

Daniel has an interview also but we won't know for a few days on that one.

Onto ww and I must admit I'm finding it a struggle to get back in the zone. Especially as I'm not working and the kitchen is so close by! I will keep going though.

I hear

2010-07-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

Don't Stop Believing...

2010-07-07T03:03:00.000-07:00

Weight watchers scales weighed me at 16 st 4 1/2 which is good by me, especially as I usually weigh in the morning.

Day one today. All I have had so far is 2 cups of tea and wholemeal toast and spread.

The meeting was ok, interesting to be in a little church hall again after the official weigh watchers centre in the US. Leader was nice, pretty down to earth.

I'm so nervous about our job interviews tomorrow I already feel sick - I know I am a great teacher but I get really worked up about interviews....

London Rain

2010-07-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

Well I wish there had been rain in London but no such luck. I am, however, enjoying the breeze.

Bryher, my fan base of one, this is for you...

So, yes, here we are. Back in the UK. In Petts Wood, Kent to be precise. My parents are kindly looking after us while we hunt for jobs. We both have interviews on Thursday so I'm really hoping they amount to good things. I haven't been paid since May so....we need income!

Our flight was a little crazy - being the money savers that we are, we went Charlotte to Boston, to Reykjavik to London. Spent all night in an Icelandic airport. I ate TUNA FISH. First animal I have eaten since August. Since then I ate it a few more times, now I've gone off it again. The photo above is us in Iceland.

My Mum has really kindly got me a monthly pass until I can afford it myself. She has a few pounds to lose for their imminent fly - drive to Florida at the end of the month. So tonight I go to my first meeting here.

My Mum's scales are weighing me at 16st 5. I am pleasantly surprised by this. When I weighed after Seattle I was 228lbs (16st4) and that was morning time when my body was empty. My meeting is tonight so I am not used to weighing in the evening which is bothering me a bit. But hey ho just get on with it I guess!

Us in Vancouver

Will let you know how it goes later....

down, but not out.

2010-06-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hi all. Yes, 2 posts in one day. What HAS come over me?

After weigh in and posting I was planning my 'no one will know about this - it's Saturday - I will make up for it later chocolate.' However you will all be pleased to know this never happened.

I went to my favorite food inspiration - Trader Joes - which is a partly organic, whole food store with many many good meatless products and awesome stuff in general. It was time for a change from Aldi - my routine of meals from there had become a bore to me. I was inspired. I did not buy any chocolate. I may not have long left of the journey here in the states but it WILL continue in the UK. Probably on the US plan. I can't figure out why they are different. Why is is sat fat in the UK and total fat grams here? Why does fiber have a positive effect on points here but not in the UK? I don't know.

Anyway here is what I bought...

It includes sour dough bread (oh San Francisco how I miss you - great sour dough bakery there), meatless chicken strips, meatless meatballs, kettle chips (sweet and salt mix, yet to try them), organic apple slices, quinoa , wholewheat pizza dough, some fruit and organic cereal bars, wholewheat pasta and vodka pasta sauce. I feel refreshed and renewed and no longer bored. Yay. I will keep going.

stuck. in. a. rut.

2010-06-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

I am so tired of being stuck in this rut. I have hovered around the 12/13lbs loss mark for....let me see..well April 3rd I hit 13lbs loss and today I am at 12.6 loss. I feel like I am going nowhere. I have, really, one official weigh in left and I feel like giving up. Almost like what will one more week help me to achieve?

This week I don't know what I did wrong. I really don't. I only went to the gym once but stuck to my points. I just don't know what I have to do anymore to lose this weight and I'm sick and tired of it. I lost 0.2lbs. Really? I mean, what's the point?

I did get my 16 week charm - here you get a kind of 'staying power' charm. This almost made me feel worse. 16 weeks and only 12.6lbs loss. I'm bitterly disapointed. This is not where I expected to be, and with a little over 3 weeks until we fly home, it has hit me. This isn't what I wanted.

Sigh,

2010-05-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

Went to WI this week and put on 0.6lbs. To be honest I probably deserved worse after last weekend drinking 9 million full fat cokes and eating like 11 pound cake slices. Add that together with a couple of days without tracking - one because I went straight from school to see Wicked the musical, and was out of the house from 6am to 11pm straight.

I know, I know, I can't expect results when being half assed. I'm so over being stuck around the 12 - 13lb loss. I feel like I'm failing all over again.

All I can do is keep trying. Busy week this week with my Kindergarten classes graduation plus getting cleaned up for the end of school. I have 2 official weigh ins left, until my monthly pass runs out and no point really renewing it as we will be in Seattle and then have only one week before we fly home.

Here is a pic of me at a Baby Shower this week, I thought I actually looked thinner. Disappointing when the scales don't match but I have no one to blame but me.

Also looking for some new vegetarian recipes as I am BORED of my current routine. And preferably cheap as possible. Any ideas?

2010-05-23T05:55:00.000-07:00

First things first. I did not go to weigh in this week. I know, shame on me. We went to watch Cardiff City attempt (and sadly fail) to get into the premier league. What? I hear you say? Not good enough? Well if you knew my husband it was a good enough reason. I am so very sad and disappointed for him and for me too, I had got really into it and will continue to support the bluebirds.

I did weigh on my own scales and they showed a loss of 1lb. There are 3 more weigh ins for me, as one week we are in Seattle. It could be 4 if i weigh on June 26th, 2 days before we go back to the UK for good. Well, nothing is for good - for a while! I want to continue in the UK - probably with the US plan because the calculator I have is for the US plan. Don't think I can afford to join a meeting in the UK as I won't have a job though I hope to get some summer supply work in nurseries or something. I am really condireing posting my scales home as I like that they weigh to .1 of a lb.

Immediately following the match was Daniel's leaving party with his colleagues and friends from hi work, and I have to say food galore. There were pizzas (homemade by Daniel) pastas, veggie burgers (they did a veggie theme just for us) pineapple pudding, and cherry pound cake. I also drank a lot of cans of coke (3 points each here!) and ate my heart out so to speak. It was a lovely event but I must now get on track and I have been baaaad. And also they gave us the cokes as they don't drink them and they are all sitting in my fridge! ARGH!

I have so much to do, both at home and at school. Its about 5 weeks to go and much to get done with the apartment and so on.

Here are some pics from the leaving do.

pound cake

Keep running up that road, keep running up that hill

2010-05-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

This week I Lost 2lbs, taking me to 228.2lbs (16st 4.2lbs) and my joint lowest weigh since I began. I was secretly hoping I would get my lowest weigh and usurp my previous one but it was not to be.

My week...

1. I have tracked every day except one, but in my head I was pretty sure I was ok...

2. I went to the gym once - I have been unwell all week with either a cold/allergies which have really taken to my chest. It was a struggle at the gym because my chest really hurt.

3. Went out for dinner once to Jason's deli. At first I was thinking..mmm the portobella mushroom pasta...but being the smart cookie that I am, I checked the nutritional values and at 945 calories, 64g fat and 13g or fiber it was 23 points. Ummmm no. So I had the salad bar, mostly 0 point veg, no dressing, couple of table spoons of potato salad and pasta salad, a few nuts/dried fruit etc. I'm glad I checked first!

4. I had some lovely encouragement this week. Firstly, my husband Daniel sent me a sweet email, telling me how pretty I am and how much I deserve success at this. Also a colleague said to me 'How much weight have you lost?' Not even 'have you lost weight?' But HOW MUCH HAVE you lost? So both compliments really touched me.

How has your week been?

Since you've been gone...

2010-05-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

I managed a loss this week of 1.4lbs. I was excited midweek because my scales were showing an awesome loss to be proud of. I guess I shouldn't weigh mid week. I can only think that as we went out last night too much diet coke was still in my system, and usually Friday night I am in bed so early which may have thrown me off.

My magic loss number to feel really happy is 2lbs...I don't know why, it just sounds good to me.

At least I'm back in double figures with an 11lb loss, but not up to my 5% again (12lbs) or my highest loss (13lbs). I have 6/7 weigh ins left and I would love it if I could get my 10% of 24lbs before we fly home to the UK. Might be a tall order though considering the way things have gone for me. I'm trying not to focus too hard on where I wish I was by now. It's depressing.

I am feeling awful suffering badly with allergies which are in turn giving me sinus problems. I feel really crappy.

Here are some inlaw visit photos for you...

weigh in

2010-05-01T15:18:00.001-07:00

so i gained 2lbs. I'll take it. On track with a vengeance.

thanks Jack...

2010-04-30T16:45:00.000-07:00

something you said really struck a chord...I can't do this half assed and expect good results. I have to be all ass. Lol.

So simple as it seems, here is how I plan to do it. I am probably boring you all but hey it's my blog and it helps to get my thoughts out.

1. Use my resources. I am a very lucky Kit. I can afford a gym which has a pool and classes. I have not made the most of this. I haven't even used the pool or the jacuzzi. What am I thinking?
2. Count points and DON"T LIE TO MYSELF! That's easy enough right?

3. WATER speaks for itself.

So I will face the music tomorrow at weigh in

Anything I have missed?

jeans

2010-04-30T14:19:00.000-07:00

Guess I should add I got new jeans today in a size down. That's the only positive thing I have tosay right now.

kind of bummed

2010-04-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

ok I know I know it's all my fault. I don't need to be reminded of that so if you only have a negative comment to make I'm going to ask that you hold it back please. Right now I need support and not negativity and this blog does not seem to be the kind of source of support I had hoped for. I do appreciate those of you that pause to make an encouraging comment. To be honest yet again I'm considering whether to bother with this blog anymore. I mostly write it for myself to get my thoughts out.

This week has not been a good week. I mean, there is a reason I got to be this way, and chocolate is def one of them. So when someone puts a box of Thorntons Chocolates (and I mean a huge box) in your house and tells you they need to be eaten by the end of the week as they have been saving them for you...my mental strength cracked. I think I must have eaten 3 or 4 or more each day until yesterday. Now they are gone which is something I guess. Also of course the afore mentioned pizza, left over pizza for lunch and meal out for Daniel's belated birthday celebration.

I know we have to live a little etc but a peek on the scales tells me of course that it wasn't worth it. Right now I feel discouraged. I seem to do well for a while and then slip up. I feel like I will never have the body I want.

So, if you're not impressed, please keep it to yourself. Constructive comments only.

hmmm

2010-04-26T18:45:00.001-07:00

Started off with take out (pizza) and a HUGE box of Thornton's Chocs!!

oops.

10 days with the In Laws

2010-04-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

So I weighed in today lost 0.8lbs. I'm kinda OK with it, I only really thought about WW from Wednesday when I rejoined. I do feel like I need to step it up, my weight loss isn't moving quite as fast as I would like it to. I know 'slow and steady wins the race but I currently have an overall loss of 11.6lbs and I'm not quite at my 5% of 12lbs and also my highest loss point was 13lbs.

I guess I will have to analyze my behaviors and work to improve them.

Hmm. What to change? This week my inlaws SHOULD arrive Monday. I believe they come bearing Easter Eggs. This will be hard to resist especially as Chocolate is just not the same in the USA (sorry USA readers). Plus with their visit will come, I'm sure Eating Out. So this will be a huge challenge. They will be here for 10 days.

Here are some thoughts for how I can stay on plan.

1. Go back to eating oatmeal and blueberries for breakfast. I have been eating cereal which, if I am honest, I never measure. If I'm even more honest I like cereal as a snack in a big old bowl, and I count it as 3 points. Um NO!

2. Keep taking salad for lunch. I have been taking salad for lunch lately, chopping up peppers, cucumbers, carrots and whatever else I have. I have a 0 point spray dressing so it is great to spend 0 points on lunch. I usually take a 2 point yogurt, an apple, and some kind of cereal bar (2) so spend around 5 points on lunch.

3. Gym I will have to try to sneak in gym visits while they are here to keep the damage down. This will be tough as they are here during our regular working week, so I'm sure I will be needed at home for the car to take them places, but I have to try to sneak in at least some cardio.

Any other ideas friends?

Help! Trying to keep it together.

2010-04-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

So I miss my e tools badly. I aim to get them back when I get paid. They really keep me in check. I just did a quick add up of my food today including dinner and I am looking at being over points by about 1.

I want to do this. I feel helpless without ww but right now I can't reinstate it into my life. Actually, maybe there is a way. I could use some money from savings on the promise that I put it right back when I get paid in about 10 days time. I don't want to fall off the wagon. I'm going to discuss this with Daniel right now! I don't want what I have achieved to fall by the wayside. I really really don't!

Edited - we decided I should just do it! So I am about to. I have missed it. I am hopeless at keeping on track by myself.

On Monday I went to the gym with my friend Amy and boy did she work me hard. We did the treadmill for cardio and then she ran us through some paces of...well how to describe it? Like bicycles lying on our backs and leg raises and all sorts. Also weights! That's good as I need to tone up badly as well as losing weight. My body took it hard and is still aching! It was very weird, the next day driving to school I could FEEL my stomach muscles trying to stabilize me as I went around corners! I could feel those muscles working!! I maywell run through those paces myself before I get in the shower in a little while.

In other news the in laws have been trying to make it over here and were due on the 16th, they are now due on Monday and as flights have resumed I am hopeful. I know they come bearing Easter Eggs which is a little worrying...

I fell right through the cracks...now I'm trying to get back...

2010-04-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hi all. Guess the song title I used as my blog post today?

In ways it hasn't been a good week for me, I new I was not going to be weighed in by weight watchers. Seriously, this seems to have some kinda of effect on my brain that tells me it's ok to grab a chocolate bar anytime I go to the store. And not even a small one.

I haven't been able to renew my ww pass yet. At the moment it looks like I might have to do it when I get paid on the 30th. But up until that time, I don't want to undo my hard work so it's time to get back on track now. I hate not having my online tracker to help me. I really miss it and will get it back as soon as possible.

It's been a very odd week - with both stress as my in laws were due to fly out on Friday to visit us (including for Daniel's 30th birthday) anf or course, a volcano in iceland chose to deposit a bunch of ash into their airspace. I know, as many people have commented, that it is better to be safe than risk an accident. Of course I KNOW that. I am just gutted for them as they had put so much into the trip and are so disappointed. They are re - booked for Wednesday but I am not hopeful that will work out either as the stuff shows no sign of moving off.

There have also been some emotional things going on with my family and I think all these things combined with 'no weigh in' lead me back to old habits. And I can tell you, my body does not feel good as a result. I feel sluggish, my digestion isn't right and even my skin feels off. Time to fix that and be on track.

I don't trust my own scales. They say that this week I have lost 2lbs putting me at 226.8lbs - though they usually weigh me a little lighter than ww, I always use them to just a loss or a gain. I just don't know how it can be correct...after the way I have eaten this week. Another reason I miss Weigh Ins. Maybe I will have to go back sooner. Just don't know if that is financially possible.

Either way, time to be on track.

Daniel's 30th was yesterday, and aside from him having an awful cough as the result of a cold, and the fact the in laws didn't make it, we had a good day. His team, Cardiff city, won their game assuring them a place in the play offs for the premier league. We have awesome bagels (as always) from Owen's, we lounged around. We had a lovely dinner at Aria, a Tuscany grill, the food was gorgeous. To end the day, we kindly got given comp tickets to see the musical 'Jersey Boys' at Daniel's place of work. It is the story of The Four Seasons - think 'Sherry' 'Oh what a night' 'walk like a man' etc. It was a good day.

Lets face the music and dance

2010-04-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

So I went to ww and gained 2.2lbs.

I'm kinda OK about it, I was hoping for no more than a gain of 3 to keep me over the 10lb mark.

After a lot of financial discussions and calculations I think I will renew my ww monthly pass. I love my leader and my meeting people and I want to make the most of it while I can. I still have 11 potential weigh ins though for one of them I may be (HOPEFULLY) in Seattle if all works out as the numbers add up.

So here I go, back on track and hoping this time next week I will be posting a loss here.

Did i mention we did a whole lot of walking in San Fran. Totally hilly - the downhill was actually harder than the up hill because I have weak ankles and had to keep my balance - it was not easy and boy did I feel it in my muscles. It was worth it for these views...

I is has a sad

2010-04-09T12:29:00.000-07:00

I dont really want to go to ww tomorrow. My scales seem to be saying I have put on at least a couple of pounds...that'ss be the banana split...starbucks etc etc. I thought we had done so much walking that I would be ok or kinda ok. Guess not.

I know I have to face the music though to get back on track.

I also still have to decide if I am going to renew my ww pass. I would like to. I can't do it on my own plus my scales are soooo not reliable. Also right now the display seems to be messed up - I can't read it clearly it is all faint.

bye

2010-04-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

lost 0.4lbs

13lbs total

I'm ok with that.

San Francisco here we come

less of a fat day

2010-03-31T18:59:00.000-07:00

Today my jim jams were wet from being washed (stupid crappy laundry room dryer) so I tried on a pair the in-laws sent at Christmas - little miss naughty black 3/4 bottoms and a vest top. At Christmas they were too tight too wear and I kinda put them in a drawer real quick pretending I wasn't upset. (pre ww) well now the bottoms are comfy! Not exactly baggy and show my figure - not very forgiving - but hey they feel good. So that was encouraging today.

Having A Fat Day

2010-03-30T16:13:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling kinda rubbish today. Getting in the shower earlier I was looking in the mirror. I just don't know if I will ever be happy with my body. Today I don't feel like I have lost 12lbs. I know I have, my trousers/pants are looser, I will need new jeans soon as I can take them off without undoing them and the slip down a bit when I am wearing them.

I hate my stomach the most. What to do?

money money money

2010-03-27T08:26:00.001-07:00

I needed to get some thoughts out...so here I go.

Basically we have had a rough time financially...we paid for our flights home to the UK...expedia took forever taking the payment but on the day they did take it, to cut a long story short, the flights got taken first and then every transaction I had made over the weekend got charged a fee of $35 each, and there were 6 transactions. I spent the week on the phone playing phone tag with the bank and getting passed on from person to person. Finally I got someone who was willing to refun about half the charges which was better than nothing at this point. With the extra tutoring I had done this month I would at least be on an even keel again.

Daniel had been paid last week so I had been carrying his card around to pay for stuff. Well I only managed to use the wrong card to pay for milk, getting us another charge. I feel so so stupid and so sorry.

In haste, I canceled my ww account.(I am paid up to April 14th) Firstly because I didn't want the payment to give us another charge and because I wanted to make up for my mistake. We are desperately trying to save for our return to the UK and we were hoping to visit Seattle before we go. Everything seems like it is against us.

I am tax free (do not pay tax on my wages) other than FICA which I have paid since Jan 2010. I can claim this back though but not until next year I believe. This totals over $1500.

We have to get our taxes done next week which isn't cheap either. I'm hoping and thinking D may claim back at least the cost of the preparation. We are not allowed to file online as non resident aliens. I can't claim anything back as i don't pay it in the first place.

So all these things seem to be against me financially...and I am mad at myself for a silly mistake.

I want to be able to afford to keep on with ww. My scales are usually weighing me at 1.2lbs lighter than wws but they do seem to drop accordingly.

I love....tracking online, the people at my meeting, my leader who knows me more personally now, and the boost it gives me to go. I like getting stickers and rewards. I'm hoping to be able to reinstate my membership.

So all in all kind of on a downer. :-(

5%

2010-03-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

Today I got my 5% (12lbs total). I lost 2.2lbs taking my overall loss to 12.6lbs. I am chuffed. Only thing I am not chuffed about is I had set this as my goal online so I got the whole 'you got to goal message' and it will not let me reset my goal now I have reached it. Which is irritating me greatly.

Edited to add - I got around by making my weight higher, changing the goal, then logging the actual weight again!

Money has been tight due to a whole bunch of reasons so probably has contributed to my loss this week as everything had to be planned out and budgeted and I don't have money to go buy whatever I fancy.

Here's to next week...then I am off to San Francisco...hmm. How to avoid putting on there? Ideas?

week 8 weigh in

2010-03-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

Loss 2.6lbs

Total Loss 10.4lbs

Finally a result I am happy with.

some pics

2010-03-13T11:53:00.001-08:00

My Weigh in Book

And a couple of mirror photos...

Weigh in week 7

2010-03-13T08:28:00.000-08:00

Today I lost 0.6lbs. Yep, that's it. At least it was a loss I guess.

Current Weight 233.4lbs (16st 9.4)

I made a decision today to stop binging at the weekend - every weekend I buy chocolate or something like that I eat eat eat. This weekend I am not doing that. I hope it will make a difference.

Only made it to the gym once again. My life is so hectic. 3 more weeks of after school tutoring and I will be more free after school to go more often. This week I am going to go on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday and on one of these days I want to try a swim and of course follow it with the jacuzzi.

I went to Aldi today (had forgotten how cheap it can be) and bought all this for $13..4 yogurts, wholeweat pasta, cereal, pasta sauce, sweetcorn, kidney beans, stewed tomatoes, bag of apples, strawberries, rice cakes...I think that's it. The flights home took it out of us a bit this month, well it would have if expedia had actually taken the payment correctly but that is another story!

Staying to the meeting definitely helped me stay motivated. A woman there today had lost 20lbs in 7 weeks, I was like why can't that be me?!

I'm also re reading diet girl for the third time. So inspiring and funny.

why?

2010-03-11T13:02:00.001-08:00

Is this such a struggle?

I must be doing something wrong.

:-( put on

2010-03-06T09:25:00.000-08:00

1.4lbs on. I was quite surprised it was that much. I am very down about it but have to be analytical to figure out what to do next.

1. It is that time of the month approaching

2. Ate too many pastries at a French Bakery - but that was a week ago.

3. One or two days I didn't track just counted in my head.

4. Didn't make it to the gym once this week. Did just dance on the wii though.

5. My week had been completely chaotic and exhausting and a complete whirlwind.

6.I'm not happy with how slow my weight loss is at average 1lb a week.

what to do?

Weigh in 6

2010-02-27T06:52:00.001-08:00

Weight - 232.8lbs (16st 8.6)
Loss - 1.2lbs
Total loss 8.6lbs

I'm pretty ok with this loss. On Friday I took what people call 'a mental health day' - which means taking a day off work to regather and regroup and relax. It doesn't mean I am crazy or anything.
So I decided to go to the Friday weigh in at 12.30pm so if Daniel and I chose to go out to eat on my day off that it wouldn't impede my weigh in. I just wanted to make the most of the day.

Did I really step it up this week? No I don't think I di so much. I was good with the weekly points using only 4.5 of the 35 on offer. I only made it to the gym once. I don't think I really up- ed my water intake either. So I'm happy to have lost. All i feel like I can do is keep recommitting to step it up.

So on to 'the day off'. I went to Starbucks straight after weigh in haha. We went to the movies (we saw Crazy Heart - it was ok) but I only got a fruit iced bar (like 2 points) then we ate out in the evening at one of our favorite bars called 'Tavern on the Tracks'. We shared fried Portobella Mushrooms for an appetizer, I ordered a black bean burger on pitta with mashed potatoes. However it was so spicey I couldn't eat a lot of it, so Daniel and I switched some parts of our dinner! I ate his garlic bread and some of his spinach linguini and some fries too. I also had cheese cake for desert. OOPsy!

In other news I bought a new game for the wii called 'Just Dance.' I haven't tried it out yet but it is supposed to be a good workout!!

Why am I doing this? A reminder...

2010-02-21T07:38:00.001-08:00

I feel like I need to write down for myself all and any reasons I can think of for this journey to motivate me.

1. Health. Sometimes I feel like I neglect this one in my mind - I always focus on wanting to look good but I know deep down that health is the number one reason to be doing this. I've been blessed with a healthy body and have a responsibility to take care of it.

2. I want to look good. (haha) I know my husband loves me for who I am but I still feel like I can give him better :-)

3. I want to arrive home in London in June and have people notice that I've made a change. I always feel like I stand out like a sore thumb on both sides of my family.

4. Right now our trip to San Francisco in April and our trip to Seattle in June are both great motivators.

measurements time

2010-02-21T07:29:00.000-08:00

I thought to take my measurements today and here are the result - remember I'm five weeks in and lost 7.4lbs...

waist - lost 1.3 inches

hips - lost 2 inches

thighs - lost 1 inch

bust - lost 0.7 inches (always been on the busty side)

arms - lost 1.1 inches.

Hmm! wasn't expecting to see much of a difference yet,though I have noticed the trousers (pants) that were tight on me fit much better.

better hair pic

2010-02-20T16:36:00.000-08:00

weigh in 5

2010-02-20T08:24:00.000-08:00

I only lost 0.8lbs today. Bit disappointed as didn't weigh in last week.

Total loss 7.4lbs so at least i hit the 'half a stone mark' for all you Brits.

I guess if I was on track for my goal of 2lbs a week I would have lost 10lbs by now. Already feel like that goal is not reachable.

So, I hear you ask, what am I gonna do to ensure a better loss next week? Here are my thoughts:

* I'm going to try to stay away from the flipping weeky points allowance they have here in the USA that are 'there if you need them' - a whopping 35 points a week for eating out or little extras. I tend to be more relaxed about having that extra hot chocolate at night and using those points. This week I used 14.5 of them, but 10 of these were on last Saturday when I treated myself to what I wanted but pointed everything, going over into the weekly points. If I was doing the plan in the UK I would not have these points and would not expect to lose if I ate 35 points extra a week (or equivalent)

* I need to be at the gym more - I only went once this week earning 3 activity points. I'm going to aim for 3 times a week and plan this out so I don't just go home. Work is so draining lately but no excuses I need to make the most of it.

* Drink more water - I do try with my water but could be doing better for sure.

* measure food - don't guess! I was a bit lax with this!

* lastly - and I put is last as it will be the hardest - not eating crap on a Saturday after weigh in - I have to get out of this mentality - I just don't know how to do it!

In other news my leader Amy has had to step down for a while due to back problems but I liked our new leader Melanie - who I believe takes a different meeting also - a lot.
ps the pics of me are of my new hair style...

some things to think about

2010-02-18T12:43:00.000-08:00

This week I have been struggling with hunger...and I think it is my fault for the way I use my points. I got up around 6am today and on getting home at 3.30 I had only used 10.5 of my 29 points and i was so hungry.

I tend to eat either cereal or oatmeal and blueberries for breakfast - around 2 - 3 points, today I ate sandwich thins with a little low fat cheese (3.5) and a yogurt (1) and I ate a little treat size snickers (2 points).

Also this week I have not made as many meals to take the next day to school for lunch and I don't think the sandwich thins filled me up yesterday or today. I'm talking about feeling REALLY hungry.

I also take vitamins and B12 and all that good stuff.

This week I have felt so exhausted - on waking up at 5.30 I just want to cry, and I have been going to bed around 9pm. I'm wondering if I really need to redistribute my points better and eat more filling meals in the day time, not just use all my points at night. I haven't even made it to the gym this week at all, though I am going tonight when I drop Daniel at work in an hour or so.

I feel just a bit kinda down...bored maybe. I need some ideas for breakfasts and lunches. For lunch all I have is a microwave and barely 20 minutes to make and eat something. Help!

:-(

2010-02-13T05:52:00.001-08:00

called ww (at least I figured that out rather than traipsing in the snow) and it is canceled. Second time in 3 weeks. M scales show a slight gain from last week which has really bummed me out. I could only say that I have not made good choices all week, many events at school this week eg valentines treats and I have guessed some of the points I guess. Back to strictness tomorrow.

I find it so tempting to take WI day (Sat) 'off'. Does anyone else do this?

noooooo

2010-02-12T15:19:00.001-08:00

the snow is falling again and settling. I dont want another WI called off. :-(

worried

2010-02-12T14:21:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure why I am worried this week about weigh in. I have stuck to points but I have also used some of my weekly ooints allowance as a few naughty things have jumped into my mouth this week, like mini candy bars and cookies. I just don't feel confident. I have been to the gym twice - would have been three times but i forgot my lock for my locker.

I had my meeting with a personal trainer which was a lot about trying to sell me a personal trainer package which in no way can I afford. We mostly did stuff like push ups (I suck at those) and toning excercise, she took my body fat percentage which horrified me and I'm not even sure I want to post it on here. She talked to me about not eating carbs for the 4 hours leading up until bedtime becasue your body is winding down energy wise and just stores them as fat if you are not using any energy. This for me means 6pm and I don't usually eat dinner til 7. Maybe next week I will try thins. Not sure what I will eat after 6pm - carbs seems to be in everything including fruits and yogurt. Hmm, food for thought though. It makes sense to me that your body is not needing energy at this time of day if you are just home relaxing.

So will let you all know tomorrow how I get on. I hope it is better than I think.

Weigh in 2 (and 3)

2010-02-06T08:03:00.000-08:00

This week I lost 2.8lbs. I was a little disappointed as this was 2 weeks worth of weigh in, but I know my ' girly' time is fast approaching so that's OK.

Start Weight 241.2lbs or 17st 3.2

Total loss 6.6lbs in 3 weeks

Current Weight 234.6lbs 16 st 10.6

I'm not disappointed with my over all loss, 2lb a week is good for me so a little ahead of that, probably though because of first week loss being higher.

I got a 5lb star both at my meeting and online - in the USA there are no silver 7s as they don't weigh in stone so it doesn't mean anything here. So the marker they use is every 5lbs. I'm halfway to my 5% goal of 12lbs.

Class was good today, mostly the atmosphere and banter was fun. We passed around a blob of fat (somehow preserved) that weighed 10lbs. It felt a lot heavier than expected. We talked about motivation and being in the right mindset, how to combat negative thoughts etc. It's a friendly group, with people wishing each other luck on the way out. Someone joked about setting up a deal with the neighboring nail salon as a reward for ever 10lbs or whatever.

By Saturday June 12th (end of school year) I would like to have lost 42lbs. That is 21 weeks (from my first weigh in) and 2lbs a week. Do you think this goal is too high or ok?

Today we thought about setting a date for a goal, to add to our motivation.

I have been trying to photograph my stickers each week at weigh in but it just isn't working. I will have to try and scan it maybe.

Stoopid Snow

2010-01-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

It started snowing last night. I didn't think it was going to amount to anything. Well it did! I drove to Weigh In anyway to find nobody there, a call might have been nice! I looked for a number to call them but couldn't find one. The roads were absolutely awful and I feel down the stairs to our apartments, grazing my arm and chipping my newly done nails too. :-(

My scales show a loss of 2lb from last week (may be more than 2lb) but I don't trust them so won't mark anything down at this point.

I did go ahead and join the gym and it is a really nice one, it is $24 (15 pd) a moth and no contract, has a pool, sauna etc. It is right by my school. I'm excited about it.

gym bunny

2010-01-27T14:49:00.000-08:00

Today I was determined I was going to use the gym. The little gym in my apartments.
I gt home. got change went over there and it was packed. It is TINY. Two buddies were running on the 2 treadmills. So i got on the one ike and cycled for 20 minutes, def worked my legs they were aching, but it just doesn't get my heart rate up like running does. So i jogged around the apartment complex...I actually dont enjoy running in the outdoors - I get distracted. I need the timer.

So i have booked a gym tour for tomorrow. It is so close to school I can go on the way home if I choose to become a member. I get to work out too so I will give it a try! It works out at $30 (18 pounds) a month and no joining fee, no contracts etc. Sounds promising! It also has a pool which seems a rarity around here. Oh and classes! Including Latin Dance! Fun!

USA WI 1

2010-01-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

I lost 3.8lbs on my first week.

I am really struggling to understand how this works with stones.

My current weight (237.4lbs) puts me at 16st 957 (etc)

Last weeks weigh of 241.2lbs put me at 17st 2.

Now as far as I can see losing 3.8lbs from 17st 2 does not = 16 stone 9? It would be 16 stone 12? Is it just me? I don't get it.

Edited - thanks to Bryher I now understand this - as she said because you are going from decimals which have 10 in a unit to almost fractions with 14 in the unit. So it is 16 st 13.4

I think I am happy with this loss - no it isn't a phenomenal amount judging by some people's first week but that's ok - before I went in I decided I would be happy with a loss and over the moon with 3lbs or more. They weigh you to the 0.1 of a lb which is nice as you can see it was very almost 4lb loss.

This week my aim to go get those gym shoes and work out more. I know this is the best way for me to boost any further losses - I know my body responds to cardio. Will probably start with the treadmill. I'm a little worried about my knee - I fell in late November on a wet floor (no sign) and the knee often niggles at me. Just aches so we will see how it goes.

I am now down to 29 points (from 30) - UK readers don't panic - the points system works a little differently over here so it does sound like a lot!

Here we go for week 2!

another lesson learned - fruit

2010-01-22T17:09:00.000-08:00

So all this week I have been mixing in half a cup of blueberries to my oatmeal (porridge) for breakfast I have haven't been hungry at all until lunch.

Well today i was rushed and thought 'Oh I will just eat the oatmeal. It won't make a difference.'

I was hungry within about 2 hours. Like noticeably hungry.

WW has a list of filling foods to help you stay fuller longer. This was actually the topic of my first class. I guess they know what they are talking about!! Seems funny how some little blueberries can make a difference to my hunger. I only use 0.5 worth. But they really did.

I am so nervous about WI - I don't know why. I have been good. Stuck to points. Have not used many flex points - I think maybe 3? I just don't have that good feeling. Here's hoping I am proved wrong tomorrow at weigh in.

I will never....ever....

2010-01-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

jump on the scales impulsively again as I did today.

They showed only a small loss and I got bummed.

I do not trust those scales anyway, but I never should have got on them. Boo.

Eating going well. It is the excercise I need to work on, cmoooon pay day, I have NO trainers (sneakers) to go to the gym in - need to buy some.

so far so good

2010-01-17T17:02:00.000-08:00

Hello people. First of all let me say thank you all for stopping by, it is so nice to see the variety of locations of my readers. I would love to hear from you - please feel free to leave me a comment!

I think I have been going pretty well though it has only been 2 days.

I have made two great dinners - veggie chili and baked ziti - ziti is a type of pasta - like pasta tubes I guess. It was yummmy!

I am loving yogurt, strawberries, blueberries, a little granola (it is pretty pointy) and a little honey. Had it for breakfast today and it kept me full for almost 4 hours! Yay. Here it is.

It is interesting how points compare to the UK - for example a glass of skim milk is 3 points - the fiber part seems to play a huge role in making something low points.

I am still stressing about the '35 points' a week for eating out or if you go over your daily allowance it deducts from them. I have heard varied opinions about them on the WW - some people use them all the time, some people use half, some use them as and when they have a big event or eat out. I feel really uncertain about quite what to do about them.

Yay for Martin Luther King Day - I get to have a bank holiday of sorts and no school. Also next Monday is a work day so yay for that too.

I am feeling a little down - I worked out that if I lost 2lb a week until the end of school (June) I will still only have lost around half what I need to. I know when I did this before successfully I tended to have a higher loss followed by a lower loss and so on...I guess I am mad at myself but at least I am channeling that into doing something about it. I'm here to stay.

D Day

2010-01-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

Well I am back from the meeting and it went well. Very different to my UK experiences so I will tell you all about it.

The meeting is held in a weight watchers Center, really about the size of a small store. As you come in through the door you line up at the desk to weigh. This is all computerized including the scales. The scales are linked to the computer so you don't see your weight flash up on the screen, the subtley print it off for you and I didn't hear them telling people you lost this or you gained that, they just seemed to stick the sticker on (printed by the computer) and add it to your card. I could be wrong I guess as i was pretty focused on taking it all in, but I didn't hear them telling people their loss or gain which I kinda like.

My start weight is 241.2lbs which about matches my scales give or take about half a lb.

A healthy weight for me would be 155lbs. Long way to go.

That is 17.2 stone? I can't believe that. If I have calculated correctly I have never been this heavy. This hurts. Hopefully next week I wil be out of the 17 range.

My 5% goal is 12lbs, my 10% 24lbs.

My leader's name is Amy and she is very cool, I liked her a lot. Class today was about 'filling foods' and of course the new members introduction afterwards.

The plan is quite different to the UK. To calculate points (as I think i have said before) you take the calories, total fat grams (not saturated) and grams of dietary fiber. The foods high in fiber are lower in points. You have 35 'eating out points' which Amy says are there IF you need them - like for a special event or something that comes up - she insists you will lose weight whether you eat them or not. I'm skeptical but I want to embrace this plan fully - I am so complacent about the UK plan these days which leads to estimating points and not bothering too much.

I am already loving have the e- tools, it is right up my street, I just love it, so effortless to track.

At the center they have a little store in there with many ww products. Today Amy gave us a sample of the peanut butter bliss bars, one point and really yummy. Will have to buy a box next week.

So all in all, I'm excited and glad I have done this and joined up. Here I go!

It's the final countdown...

2010-01-15T13:10:00.000-08:00

Well folks, tomorrow is the big day, I am feeling really nervous but excited too. I don't really know what to expect from the meeting as I have not attended a meeting here in the USA yet. Plus here they have a lot of professional centers (not just church halls etc) and mine falls into that category.

I am also excited to be getting online access to the online tools - never done this before so I hopeit makes the journey easier.

More tomorrow....

counting down

2010-01-09T11:38:00.000-08:00

One week until I go to class. I am looking forward to it. I am especially looking forward to having the online tools which I have never done before. I am also nervous, not knowing what to expect at the meeting, being in a different country and all.

I have not been counting points but i have been cooking healthily - i have made roasted veg, bean salad, omelettes etc. I am ready to re start this journey. I have much incentive.

I haen't been on the scales - I keep forgetting!

ok people, need your advice pleeeease

2010-01-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

Should I be counting points and weighing in until I go to class on Jan 16th?

Or just make Jan 16th the 'new start'.

I don't know which to do.

This will be

2009-12-31T09:58:00.000-08:00

the year for me, it has to be.

I'm disapointed I can't start until the 16th but it is what it is and I just have to deal with it.

monthly pass update

2009-12-30T08:48:00.000-08:00

I have been told that the 15 day in advance thing just happens the one time, then it is the same day each month.

I have to make it be in different pay periods so I will start the 16th I guess. :-(

5 plus board has gone downhill

2009-12-29T19:17:00.000-08:00

Now I love(d) the five + boards, hence why my blog is linked in the blog group. But I almost posted this tonight...

I am fed up of people who think this board is for a blow by blow account of their lives. Every little event, detail problem, break up,make up all day long. I actually feel a little sorry for these people but please, find a real life support network. Text each other rather than clogging up the boards.

Do I have a problem with people sharing their problems, forming a community, looking for support both with weight loss and off topic? No. But some people need to realise it is not their personal sounding board day in day out. It's draining.

I had to write it somewhere...so I chose here.

dilemma

2009-12-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

ok, so I was looking at getting the monthly pass, when I relaised that it says on the WW USA site...

PLEASE NOTE: Your Monthly Pass will automatically renew each month until you cancel. You will be charged up to 15 days prior to your renewal date at the standard monthly fee (currently $39.95, plus tax for Connecticut) to ensure you receive your new Monthly Pass card on time.

So I am reading it, this means that I will pay twice within one month. I'm not sure I can do that! That's $80 in one month.

What to do. Hmm. I could start a little later than planned, so the next payment will be from the next paycheck if you see what I mean.

Hmmph. Not happy.

no more

2009-12-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

of these double chins.

Brittany

2009-12-21T13:21:00.000-08:00

I have to say I am saddened by the death of Brittany Murphy.

I know people die all the time, famous or not and I am certainly not about to 'hype it up' or anything like that.

I initially could not understand why a seemingly healthy 32 year old would die from expected cardiac arrest. I immediately felt guilty for not looking after my own body better. Life is fragile and I have been given a healthy body that I am putting to much strain on by being overweight.

I liked Brittany Murphy as in actress, initially in Clueless which I saw at about age 15.

I don't know if there were other factors involved as the rumors begin to circulate, apprently she had flu like symptoms and had been vomiting. Who knows. Either way it serves as a reminder that life is fragile and we must look after ourselves.

Christmas is coming...

2009-12-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

And Kit is still fat.

Why do special events make being overweight so much worse. I feel I have literally got absolutely nowhere this year.

I'm tired of saying next year will be different. It has to be. It must be. I can't stand it anymore.

hmmm

2009-12-11T13:58:00.001-08:00

off the rails to be honest.

lost

2009-12-05T12:17:00.000-08:00

3lb just about.

decisions decisions

2009-12-04T13:19:00.000-08:00

ok blog readers. I have some thoughts to share with you.

Really feel like giving up for Christmas, and just enjoying the season and the red cups (man I'm mad at the inventor of starbucks) and all that goes with it.

I will be weighing tomorrow and taking it from there. I am not sure what to do. I feel like everything is a whirl wind.

I know I haven't done too badly this week but have I tracked everything? NO?! It is like non stop from A to B in my life but I guess I have no excuses. Could have done better.

I am also decided that I think attending a meeting here may be a very good idea. There is one 5 minutes from my house and the offical Charlotte Weight Watchers center (no I am not kidding) at 10am on a Saturday which would be perfect.

I feel like I need a kick up the backside and I am realising the only time I have REALLY done this well is when I attended meetings back in 2002.

Plus the US version of weight watchers is a little different, it counts calories, calories from fat and dietry fiber which is interesting. I already have the calculator and maybe, as Bryher said, I would be less complacent about it all if I didn't know the program so well.

I plan to begin attending meetings Saturday Jan 2nd. The monthly pass includes free etools and is $40 per month - or 25 pounds a week.. Not sure how that relates to the UK monthly pass?

The biggest question is how to handle everything in the mean time...

blah

2009-11-28T09:20:00.001-08:00

well my friends, you can see I put on this week - almost 4lbs.

I knew it would happen...of course I am disappointed but not surprised.

Tracking points today. I feel like I am bored of this plan having had it in my life so long and I am looking for new ideas of what to eat.

Off to the shop in a bit for inspiration....

Wish me luck

PS I will NOT drink starbucks hot chocolate I will NOT drink starbucks hot chocolate.

O Christmas Tree

2009-11-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas.

I decided to make myself a little Christmas incentive.

As I lose a 1lb I will add a decoration to the tree. Hopefully there will be 7 by Sat 19th Dec (we go to Chicago on the Tuesday)

just watch...

2009-11-21T16:47:00.000-08:00

You just watch me lose 7lbs by Christmas.

I will stick to points apart from the actual day of thanksgiving....

I will do this. Cmon people...I need some support.

you win none you lose all...

2009-11-20T06:29:00.000-08:00

ah where to begin.

I got slack with my blogging and it is a little hard to think back.

Monday wasn't great - breakfast and lunch stuck to plan, then got home and took a nap, waking up only half an hour before going out to hear Daniel play so grabbed some veggie sticks (crisps) apple slices and I think cereal when I came home.

Tuesday...I am trying to think back....this is my punishment for not blogging it. I add it all up in notepad on the laptop...

Wednesday is where it fell apart. I got up so late I didn't eat a decent breakfast. Been so hungry (hormones) and went for a choc bar in the vending maching after school. Then went to good old panera bread. I had creamy tomato soup, mac and cheese and french bread. I also bought bagels - choc chip and apple danish bagels!

Thursday again was going fine until I slipped and hurt my knee and got taken by a staff member to urgent care to get it checked. She took me for ice cream - hot fudge Sundae.

So why am I surprised that I stayed the same? (Weigh in not til tomorrow but I had had enough and knew it wouldn't go well.)

Why does it feel like food rules my life?

Next week is Thanksgiving so that will be a washout too. I will try not to go crazy.

I am thinking after that (Nov 30) I will try fast start again.

I feel so fed up. But I know it's all on me.

Fast start day 2 - no ish.

2009-11-15T18:36:00.000-08:00

Today I think I have done a much better job.

B - Cereal (raisin bran) 3 points

L - soft cheese sandwich in sandwhich thins with salad 4 points
Jelly 0 and yoghurt 1.5 (no muller lights here. miss those.)

D Whole wheat pasta, with vegetables (peppers mushroom courgette onion tomatoes) and grated cheese 8 points

2 raspberry ice bars 3 points

Glass milk 1 point

apple slices 1/2 point

thats 21 points so may well have a little more apple.

nighty night!

Fast Start Day 1...ish.

2009-11-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

Breakfast - bagel 4 points

Lunch egg and sprinkle of cheese sandwich in sandwich thins I posted about... 5.5

Dinner ermmm

housewarming party....

crackers (ritz) x 6 and 6 pieces cheese (matchbox size) 1 slice of banana bread, 1 rice crispy square (homemade) pepsis not diet.

Cereal when I got home. 3.5

Now, I don't know how many points that is!

But I don't see any fruit or veg. OOOPs.

And I need to drink more water.

WI

2009-11-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

stayed the same, could be worse!!!

cmon cmon cmon cmon take that! (and party)

2009-11-13T16:38:00.000-08:00

ok, so I am going to do fast start which means dropping to 22 points for the week.

I did some grocery shopping tonight and I got bagels, jelly, yoghurt, bread thins (see pic) whole weat pasta, some fresh veggies to go with the pasta, eggs, (I used to HATE eggs, love em now) some veggie protein for sandwiches and jacket potatoes.

I need to get some fruit too I guess, will probably do that at a different store though.

The tough part for me is how my day is....

breakfast is at 6am...lunch at school is 10.20am. so then when I get home - 3 - 4pm I am usuallly needing a snack! I usually eat dinner around 7pm and bed by 10pm...so....how to I combat the snacking?

Fast start seems to be based on 3 meals a day....

The road is long....

2009-11-08T12:16:00.000-08:00

This week I put on 1.4lbs.

Do I know why, I hear you ask?

Uh yes

Did I write anything down? Nope

Did I exercise? Nope

Did I eat out more than once? Yep

Did I get teary looking at rolls of fat in the changing room? Yep

You know guys, I am starting to think that I don't have it in me.

The week begins and I literally forget or neglect what I am supposed to be doing.

I know, it is all on me. My responsibility. My decisions.

I will keep trying. I have to keep trying.

sweets for my sweet....

2009-10-31T12:50:00.000-07:00

Long time no blog...when I'm not home sick all day I kinda didn't get time.

I have to be honest I don't think I wrote down any food or points but I felt like I had a good grasp on how much I was eating. Not good enough, I know. I felt like I had a lot to cope with this week. I'm just glad I MADE it through the week. I am feeling much better, still some phlegm on my chest which surfaces every now and then.

So I weighed and lost 0.8lbs. I'm glad my scales are that accurate! Almost a lb anyways! I'm ok with that. Hopefully now I am feeling better I can get back to the exercise. Down is better than up.

Today we went to see 'Where the Wild Things Are' at the mall, in the IMAX theater. I was realy impressed with the quality of IMAX and the movie was cool - an interesting take on the book with is about 10 sentences long. I like that it is kinda someones interpretation.

Today is halloween - something, growing up in a christian home in the UK, I have never celebrated. Here it is definitely viewed differently and christians do celebrate it. The dress up thing is different, kids and adults dress up as anything really, not just something scary or ghostly.

On going to pay the rent check today in our apartment office, I was given this. MMMM!

please take me...ouuut tonight...

2009-10-25T19:14:00.000-07:00

If you haven't realized it already, almost all of my titles are song titles or lyrics.

Anyways, Friday night we decided to go out with my USA BFF Amy, and another friend and colleague. It was the same group from our beach trip in the summer and it was fun to hang out. We went for dinner at panera bread. I had tomato soup and half a tomato mozarella panini. They have a cool deal called 'you pick two' where you can choose 2 items from their salads, soups and sandwiches. It is one of my favorite places to go. What I had totalled about 15 points, but I had not spent many points during the day. I took crackers and cheese to school for lunch and the crackers were really bothering my cough so I didn't eat much.

Friday was the day I felt on the upside of my illness. On Thursday, I had texted Daniel from school, a simple :-(. I was not feeling good. Friday I texted :-) as i felt so much better. Having said that as soon as the kids left I felt tired and took a nap from 2.15pm - 6pm. I couldn't believe how long I slept!

After dinner we hit the bowling alley and the bar all at once. I was driving so just had one drink malibu and coke - and then a yummy strawberry slushy kinda thing...a Daquirie without the alcohol. I usually suck at bowling and tonight was varied, I had everything from a zero score to a strike. But I really enjoyed being out and doing something.

Saturday was weigh in day and I was happy with 2lbs loss. Hopefully I can maintain it now and keep losing. I have to admit to not being very good on the weekends...I will have to fix that up quick!

I have been feeling a little down...it is hard to explain. I feel almost homesick - not so much for people but for the place itself. I feel like I am in a rut of get up at 5 - go to work - come home - take d to work - sit around - go get Daniel - go to bed and do it all over again. I have been teary lately and I think this is why. I need to make an effort to be doing things I enjoy when we or I have the time to do so. I also would love a break away - we have bee talking about Thanksgiving or Christmas but no definite idea or plan yet.

I am still not 100% and keep getting bouts of lethargy...if they remain with me I will go get some blood tests to see whatis going on. Still a bit of a cough going on too, and a chesty one at that! Tonight we went for an early evening walk which was lovely, I can't tell you where we ended up. Any guesses?!

2009-10-24T09:18:00.001-07:00

I lost 2lbs this week...more later as I am off to a school event.

roll call

2009-10-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

points - check

sick - check

back to work - check.

I am now officially a boring blogger.

still

2009-10-21T13:33:00.000-07:00

still sick and took today off which will be the last one I can take.

Have to battle it through Thursday and Friday to make it to the weekend.

It is 4.34pm and I have 22 points....all i have had is cereal and a cereal bar. (I had 4 points left yesterday) oh and orange juice better count that too.

Tonight I have to take Daniel to work and pick him up - so a potential late night waiting to pick him up...then it is a one man show so it may not be too bad. I don't know.

Tomorrow I am supposed to chaperone at Chuck E Cheese for our family night between 5pm and 6pm.

Not looking forward to the next two days. Bring on the weekend.

writing a letter....to make you feel better...

2009-10-20T17:41:00.001-07:00

still on track with points.

still sick.

this is all.

things can only get better...

2009-10-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

Today I took the afternoon off school - well 10.30 onwards as we start at 7 - and popped along to the 'minute clinic' in a local pharmacy.

They said it is a virus going round with this whole fatigue thing and to wait it out. If after 7 days there is no improvement I will get blood taken (uh oh. kinda hate needley stuff) to check nothing more serious is going on.

I came home and slept for a few hours. I ate the left over ratatouille for lunch - which turned out well by the way - and only about a point for the kidney beans I added for protein.

I think I will stay off tomorrow. Being truthful, I know I need to as so far I don't feel improvement. I feel like someone beat me up and just so so weak all over. I really hate missing school to be honest, for many reasons. I love my kids. I get behind on everything. But I think I have no choice. I am feeling really down about it all and I just want to be well.

So far, food wise, it is 6.45pm and I have only had 10 points...I have 3 saved from yesterday too. I am struggling to eat them all - how rare for me to have no appetite.

OOOH jut remembered I had a doughnut today - they brought them round at school. Better go find out the points...4 apparently. Not too bad.

Fight for this love

2009-10-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

Well here I am trying to stick to my promises...

Today has been a washout but for once NOT ww wise!

Last night our neighbors had the loudest party ever. I could hear whole conversations and the music was THUMPING. Til 3am. As a result I slept til 1pm which I hate. I feel like it is wasted time. I really needed a full long sleep. I feel worse again today with the whole flu like feelings - but I don't have a fever or high temperature. Just complete fatigue and weakness. I feel very down about it all and I just want to feel better.

Was hoping to go for a walk today but don't know if that will be good or detrimental. Finally we are getting crisp autumn air, but I think it will heat up again this week. Shame. I like the cool air.

I had planned to just catch up on tv online - I have to say I'm enjoying watching the X factor, strictly, Merlin and I also hadn't watched this weeks Gossip Girl - very unusal for me and shows how tired I have been. I have watched some and I am still working on it...

So far I have eaten an egg sarnie (cooked in microwave), toast with nutella and a cereal bar...hmm doesn't sound too healthy written down.

I'm hoping to make up some ratatouille which will consist of onion, mushrooms, courgette, peppers and chopped tomatoes - and I am also adding kidney beans for protein. Hopefully I will feel well enough to make it. I have never made it before!

I still haven't eaten meat since we stopped...

See you tomorrow...

I'm only sleeping...

2009-10-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

I am really down.

I started off the week well. Actually, I was barely hungry. Had a migraine sunday night and stayed off school Monday. I felt so sick with it I was not really eating a whole lot.

Then as the week went on I made some mistakes. Buying a bag or 2 of mini twixes for my class was one - I must have eaten a fair few myself. And I am being kind to myself here.

On Thursday night - well afternoon - I fell asleep at 4pm in the arm chair. By 5pm I was in the bed. I awoke once or twice to eat (veggie hot dog) but I can hardly describe the exhaustion I felt. I slept all night til 5.30am - 13 hours of sleep. I can only say it was exhaustion. Every muscle in my body hurt. I felt drowsy, like I had been drugged. I also felt like my body had been hit by a car or that I had run a marathon. I am stil recovering from that - my body still aches and I feel weak.

I can only presume that it is medical exhaustion. I did have a few rough nights sleep this week but still.

Friday night my friend came over and we had pizza - as in take away. Oops. It was yummy I have to say but I know deep down I prefer Daniel's homemade pizza.

This blog shouldn't really be called a journey because I feel like I am going nowhere.

I don't know how to address the exhaustion. I HAVE to be up at 5am ish. Some days I have to get Daniel from work as late as 10 or later becasue he doesn't drive...or i take a nap when I get home...

Having said all this I just got on the scales (I heard Bryher's voice in my head...) and they put me and 234.6lb wich is a 2lb loss.

I don't get it. I can only think the exhaustion and lack of eating at the start of the week helped me out. I am a little worried about my scales as I weighed a few times and it went up and 1lb then back down. I decided just to take the first reading and change the batteries very soon.

I know I need a plan of action...

1. I will try to come on daily to evaluate the day to keep me on track rather than weekly.

2. I am terrible for cramming a cereal bar (chocolate coated, 3 points) into my mouth when I am hungry. I need more fruit and veg in my diet.

3. I will keep attempting the excercise. It just hasn't happened this week. The exhaustion reigned.

If you are reading I would love to hear from you...

wasn't as bad as I thought...

2009-10-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

I read Bryher's comment this morning and decided she was right - I did need to get back on the scales.
I was actually surprised - 236.6lbs - I think the last time I got on it was 238 and something.

So at least I'm not over my start weight I guess.

I went to the whole food, organicy kind of store last night and bought some fresh soups, clementines (only place i have seen them here) sugar snap peas (same) and am trying to make an effort now.

I guess the Starbucks will HAVE to go....

I don't think I have anything physical making me so tired - I go to bed around 10pm and my alarm goes off around 5.15am...maybe if it continues I will go check it out.

truth? I'm going nowhere.

2009-10-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

Did you know that a Starbucks signature hot chocolate is 10 points! I have had more that one of those this week....oh wow.

Anyway this journey has hit a huge bump - and very early on as I have not really got anywhere.

No one to blame but me...

Work is exhausting - not an excuse - but we have more kids and less help from assitants due to all the budget cuts we have had. I feel like I am scrambling through the day and this is taking a toll on me. I eat whatever is convenient - not fast food or anything but snack all day, take long naps, never excercise.

I stay in bed as long as possible - my alarm goes off around 5.15am and I snooze and snooze andjust about get to school on time.

I got on the scales last week to see a pound on. I didn't even bother getting on this week.

I have asked hubby to go with me on walks or to the gym. I hope this will give me more energy.

I mean how can I even expect a result? I haven't pointed or excercised. Not to mention the starbucks thing.

It's like in my mind, I know what I need to be doing and so on. My body just isn't complying.

Help.....

Nothin' left for me to do but dance!

2009-09-28T18:45:00.001-07:00

Firstly, I did weigh on Saturday and had put that 4lbs on to be back to my start weight - I havent changed my ticker yet...

I love, love, love to watch dancing shows. Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing With The Stars, So You Think You Can Dance. I wish I could have a Dancer's body. I truly do. I love watching the female dancers in their gorgeous dresses, beautiful figures whirling around the floor. I don't think I will ever get to have a figure like that, but I can try. If I watch all these shows every week - which I do - that is 5 days of inspiration a week.

Not only that but Daniel promised a long time ago that when I had lost the weight we would take dance classes together. I feel sad that I am nowhere near this yet, but the only way is to begin.

I will count my points from tomorrow and attempt some excercise too.

Wish me luck!

here we go again

2009-09-19T11:07:00.001-07:00

I don't want to fly again and feel like I just about fit in the seat. The 747 was ok but the airbus was cramped and I felt uncomfortable and embarassed.

I want to return to the UK in July a lot lighter.

I want to show that I DO value my health hugely. Actions should speak louder than words.

Watch this space.

Just remembered I forgot to weigh this morning, will do it tomorrow.

Ate a lot of chocolate and pizza at home. Have one Dairy Milk bar left to finish. When it's gone, the points I must count, because I can't be like this anymore.

I went to visit Bryher while I was home. It was great to see her in real life as she lost a lot of weight since I last saw her and looks great. Check her out ... http://www.bryherhill.com/

Here we are..look at my roll of fat...I hate it!

weight in 8...finally

2009-08-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

finally a result I like.

current weigh 332.8lbs loss 3.2lbs

YAY!

This could be for many reasons

Limited cash has meant only buying exactly what we need.

Maybe the vegetarian thing is working...

My Nan passed away so felt less like eating.

I'm back at school which is exhausting and prob burning more calories than I was sitting at home all summer.

weigh in 7

2009-08-15T11:31:00.000-07:00

236lbs - put a 1lb on. Not unexpected as I ate a whole lot of crisps. or chips for the American's.

D and I are going veggie for a month to see how it affects our health and general well being.

I was vegetarian when I was a teen.

This is all for today.

I'm actually looking forward to getting back to work. I am burning no calories laying in bed all day long.

Weigh in 6

2009-08-08T09:43:00.000-07:00

Weigh in 1st August 235.6lbs Gain 1lb

Weigh in 8th August 235lbs loss 0.6lbs

Total loss 2lbs

Ok, so it's not that awesome. But I'm always glad when the scales go down not up.

This week has not been the best...I had some days where I counted points all day and then got hungry and ate pop tarts or something.

I also had 12 points of Hershey Bar on Sunday.

On Thursday I couldn't be bothered to make much so I ate A LOT of toast. Too many carbs.

But hey, a loss is a loss, and I have to keep plodding on.

I'm still focusing on points, not adding anything else in just yet.

things...can only get better....

2009-08-04T17:46:00.000-07:00

Well my hunger seems to have improved muchly, I have been sticking to the points.

Right now I have next to me a plate of apple and grapes. I love the apple slicer I bought. For some reason I don't like biting into apple whole. I used to sit with a sharp little knife and slice them up but oh no, now I have this.

It makes my apple eating much more enjoyable.

I'm also addicted to lemon sorbet - or sherbert as they call it here. It is sooo yummy, and 2 points per serving. It is like eating lemon flavor ice cream. So refreshing.

Going into school tomorrow even though our official work days don't begin until 2 weeks today. Going to be getting the furniture in order as it all gets taken out so the floors can be waxed.

Hopefully I can just keep sticking to it. I feel like I have so far to go. I have been looking at some old pictures today that I had uploaded to photobox. I hae out on so muh weight since I got married. I want it to be gone. It's a long road ahead.

hey there Delliah...

2009-08-02T16:44:00.000-07:00

hmmm not the best start...

I kinda picked a bad time to jump on the wagon...TOTM of course. I feel so hungry and have been craving chocolate which I'm afraid to say I gave into. I bought Hershey's with Almonds.

I think I found a good solution albeit too late - grapes. I hve always loved grapes. My nan used to take me to the local market and offer to buy me sweets, like a pic n mix but I would ask for my own bag of grapes. Strange child! I can remember sitting on the bus home eating them.

I think the sugar content is high so I will have to be careful. But they will be my 'go to' food for now. Pointed of course!

weigh in 5

2009-08-01T07:58:00.000-07:00

Start Weight 237lbs BMI 38.2

Weigh in 1 June 27th 234.2lbs BMI 37.8 loss 2.8lbs

Weigh in 2 July 3rd 233.8 lbs loss 0.4lbs

Weigh in 3 July 10th 235.4lbs Gain 1.6lbs

Weigh in 4 July 18th 234.6lbs Loss 0.8lb

Weigh in 1st August 235.6lbs Gain 1lb

Total Loss 1.4lbs

Somewhere in the running I have messed up the weigh ins, I know I haven't missed that many. Ah well.

I did weigh in last week at 237 - I didn' t record it here - I just couldn't deal with blogging about being back up to my start weight. I wish I had now, so I could feel a sense of achievement. Ah well.

1.4lbs is kinda pathetic...I can't count the number of times we ate out while my parents were here..I almost always had steak, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and a brownie and ice cream. I had McDonalds more than once, didn't exercise at all really.

But now, here I am, I have to say a little half heatedly - only because I am out of routine. The good part is I can't afford to eat all that stuff - my parents always paid.

I'm going to try to add in something to focus on each week - this week my only aim is to record what I eat and stick to the old points. Then I will begin to add in water intake etc.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

2009-07-30T19:15:00.000-07:00

Well the parents and brother flew home yesterday. I hate saying goodbye...it is harder to separate my life here from them now - mentally I mean.

I keep looking for them in the pool or when I'm doing the grocery shop.

I've eaten out countelss times. Ech. Gotta get on scales.

Kind of an NSV even though I havent really lost any weight, I bought a 2 piece swim suit on our trip to the beach, the bottoms has a built in skirt to give my lumps a bit of modesty! I don't think I have work a two piece bathing suit in a long time. When we went to the beach in June I wore board shorts and a t shirt to cover up. I just felt like this one suited me so I didn't feel fat wearing it.

I just had to put the picture onto weight view, which takes 50lbs off the photo. Here is the result.
WOW! I want to look like that next beach season... I think it is in my capabilities but I need to be so so focused.

weigh in 4

2009-07-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

Start Weight 237lbs BMI 38.2

Weigh in 1 June 27th 234.2lbs BMI 37.8 loss 2.8lbs

Weigh in 2 July 3rd 233.8 lbs loss 0.4lbs

Weigh in 3 July 10th 235.4lbs Gain 1.6lbs

Weigh in 4 July 18th 234.6lbs Loss 0.8lbs

Total loss 2.4 lbs

Not a biggie but glad the numbers are going down. It has been not quite as much eating out but with my parents offering to pay all the time, I have found it hard to refuse.

I have not counted points but I have def not over eaten. I'm disappointed I haven't had the determination I wanted to get through this few weeks while I have my family here but truthfully I'm glad this week was a loss of some sort.

I still have that overall determination but the situations I'm in are not making it easy. All the Cadbury's has been shared and eaten so at least that is done and dusted!

This week will see my birthday and a two night trip to the beach so here we go again!

Weigh in 3

2009-07-10T09:06:00.000-07:00

I knew it would not be good but I want to at leas continue to see this through.

Start Weight 237lbs BMI 38.2

Weigh in 1 June 27th 234.2lbs BMI 37.8 loss 2.8lbs

Weigh in 2 July 3rd 233.8 lbs loss 0.4lbs
Weigh in 10 July 235.4lbs Gain 1.6lbs
.
Total loss 1.6lbs

It's ok. I've eaten out twice with desert. I've eaten many many fudge bars and Dairy Milk. But it Shared it as much as possible with others to minimise the damage.

Truthfully having family here is stressful I love them and I'm so happy to see them but they are staying in my apartment while we stay with awesome friends. There are too many peoples habits and routines clashing. As of now they don't have a car so I have to drive them anywhere they want to go. It is draining...they are here for 3 more weeks and have been here for one already.

Off to the Mall with them shortly. Have a good day.

the only way is up

2009-07-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

so far so bad...

went out for dinner to celebrate my parents arriving here in the USA. I had steak, chicken fingers, mashed potato and a brownie with ice cream.

They brought cadbury's. So far I have had a few fudge bars and a few dairy milk squares.

It won't be like this all the time...they are here for over 3 weeks and none of us can afford to always eat out! But still....I haven't thought about points in the last 24 hours. Hmm.

wI week 2

2009-07-03T08:09:00.000-07:00

Start Weight 237lbs BMI 38.2

Weigh in 1 June 27th 234.2lbs BMI 37.8 loss 2.8lbs

Weigh in 2 July 3rd 233.8 lbs BMI loss 0.4lbs

Total loss 3.2lbs

Not a lot to sing and dance about but with totm on it's way it's ok.

When I did WW for my wedding I was always high loss one week low loss next week.

Not much time to write as meeting the family at the airport in a few hours and still some things to sort out.

Help! I need somebody help!

2009-07-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

Today I feel so hungry.

I think it is hormones. I hope it is only hormones and I haven't lost my motivation.

My parents arrive tomorrow and I think they brought me some Cadbury's. We can't get it over here. I haven't seen them for almost a year. I know they will be in holiday mode. Well I think so.

I feel torn right now between letting go and enjoying the time with my parents and staying on track. I could hear those little voices while I was in the supermarket....

Just forget it....buy a chocolate bar...one won't hurt....

I didn't and I'm not forgetting it. I'm just. Scared!

well I gotta have faith

2009-06-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

Well today I am ... not struggling but feeling very peckish! I think it is because of the reason us girls do get peckish once a month... I am desperately trying not to give in.

Last night we went to our friends house and they had made carrot cake cupcakes. I'm sorry to say I ate 2, and then some cereal when I got home. Think I was over my points by 3 so will have to either go to gym or swim to work them off.

I decided to enter my picture to weightview.com - they will edit your picture to show how you will look if you lose 50lbs. I first saw the idea on Alice's Blog.

Here is how mine turned out.

Yesterday while grocery shopping I cam across these.

I am keeping them frozen so I don't scoff the lot. I cannot afford to get to into the low cal chocolate options or I will lose control!! They are 2 points each.

All I have had so far is scrambled egg on toast....made by hubby Daniel so unsure how to point it!

Any ideas?

Have a great day.

I'm so excited..and I just can't hide it...!

2009-06-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

I just can't get over how excited I feel about being on this journey again. It's weird! I just...feel different. Like my heart is really in it. The only time I ever felt like this before was losing weight for my wedding in 2002.

I hope that my feelings are a good sign. I know I won't always feel like this. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve, like something great is going to happen. I don't feel down anymore. I don't feel like I'm doing this half heatedly.

I would like to bottle this feeling up as I know it will get harder. It just doesn't feel like a chore right now.

The next few weeks will be hard as my parents will be here on holiday for almost 4 weeks. I'm not sure how I am going to deal with the eating part of this e.g eating out. Also my birthday is coming up in July. Any tips? I don't want to backslide.

2009-06-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

Well the cookout went well, I was able to sneak a look at the hot dog and buns packages and work out the points. The pic above is before we left - Daniel had to work.

I ate 2 hot dogs in buns, some fruit (someone put a tray of fruit right where I was sitting) and birthday cake. All pointed.

Today has been pretty regular. Did the laundry at Amy's (we don't have a washer/dryer in our apartment) Amy brought back some Chinese (chicken, broccoli and brown rice) from a Chinese restaurant that prides itself in healthy cooking - no additives etc. I only ate half of it and saved half for Daniel.

I have been pretty wiped out so napping this afternoon and consequently have 14 points left at 8.30pm. I also didn't get up until 11am so that explains it also.

Have a great ww week.