still

still sick and took today off which will be the last one I can take.

Have to battle it through Thursday and Friday to make it to the weekend.

It is 4.34pm and I have 22 points....all i have had is cereal and a cereal bar. (I had 4 points left yesterday) oh and orange juice better count that too.

Tonight I have to take Daniel to work and pick him up - so a potential late night waiting to pick him up...then it is a one man show so it may not be too bad. I don't know.

Tomorrow I am supposed to chaperone at Chuck E Cheese for our family night between 5pm and 6pm.

Not looking forward to the next two days. Bring on the weekend.

writing a letter....to make you feel better...

still on track with points.

still sick.

this is all.

things can only get better...

Today I took the afternoon off school - well 10.30 onwards as we start at 7 - and popped along to the 'minute clinic' in a local pharmacy.

They said it is a virus going round with this whole fatigue thing and to wait it out. If after 7 days there is no improvement I will get blood taken (uh oh. kinda hate needley stuff) to check nothing more serious is going on.

I came home and slept for a few hours. I ate the left over ratatouille for lunch - which turned out well by the way - and only about a point for the kidney beans I added for protein.

I think I will stay off tomorrow. Being truthful, I know I need to as so far I don't feel improvement. I feel like someone beat me up and just so so weak all over. I really hate missing school to be honest, for many reasons. I love my kids. I get behind on everything. But I think I have no choice. I am feeling really down about it all and I just want to be well.

So far, food wise, it is 6.45pm and I have only had 10 points...I have 3 saved from yesterday too. I am struggling to eat them all - how rare for me to have no appetite.

OOOH jut remembered I had a doughnut today - they brought them round at school. Better go find out the points...4 apparently. Not too bad.

Fight for this love

Well here I am trying to stick to my promises...

Today has been a washout but for once NOT ww wise!

Last night our neighbors had the loudest party ever. I could hear whole conversations and the music was THUMPING. Til 3am. As a result I slept til 1pm which I hate. I feel like it is wasted time. I really needed a full long sleep. I feel worse again today with the whole flu like feelings - but I don't have a fever or high temperature. Just complete fatigue and weakness. I feel very down about it all and I just want to feel better.

Was hoping to go for a walk today but don't know if that will be good or detrimental. Finally we are getting crisp autumn air, but I think it will heat up again this week. Shame. I like the cool air.

I had planned to just catch up on tv online - I have to say I'm enjoying watching the X factor, strictly, Merlin and I also hadn't watched this weeks Gossip Girl - very unusal for me and shows how tired I have been. I have watched some and I am still working on it...

So far I have eaten an egg sarnie (cooked in microwave), toast with nutella and a cereal bar...hmm doesn't sound too healthy written down.

I'm hoping to make up some ratatouille which will consist of onion, mushrooms, courgette, peppers and chopped tomatoes - and I am also adding kidney beans for protein. Hopefully I will feel well enough to make it. I have never made it before!



I still haven't eaten meat since we stopped...

See you tomorrow...

I'm only sleeping...

I am really down.

I started off the week well. Actually, I was barely hungry. Had a migraine sunday night and stayed off school Monday. I felt so sick with it I was not really eating a whole lot.

Then as the week went on I made some mistakes. Buying a bag or 2 of mini twixes for my class was one - I must have eaten a fair few myself. And I am being kind to myself here.

On Thursday night - well afternoon - I fell asleep at 4pm in the arm chair. By 5pm I was in the bed. I awoke once or twice to eat (veggie hot dog) but I can hardly describe the exhaustion I felt. I slept all night til 5.30am - 13 hours of sleep. I can only say it was exhaustion. Every muscle in my body hurt. I felt drowsy, like I had been drugged. I also felt like my body had been hit by a car or that I had run a marathon. I am stil recovering from that - my body still aches and I feel weak.

I can only presume that it is medical exhaustion. I did have a few rough nights sleep this week but still.

Friday night my friend came over and we had pizza - as in take away. Oops. It was yummy I have to say but I know deep down I prefer Daniel's homemade pizza.

This blog shouldn't really be called a journey because I feel like I am going nowhere.

I don't know how to address the exhaustion. I HAVE to be up at 5am ish. Some days I have to get Daniel from work as late as 10 or later becasue he doesn't drive...or i take a nap when I get home...

Having said all this I just got on the scales (I heard Bryher's voice in my head...) and they put me and 234.6lb wich is a 2lb loss.

I don't get it. I can only think the exhaustion and lack of eating at the start of the week helped me out. I am a little worried about my scales as I weighed a few times and it went up and 1lb then back down. I decided just to take the first reading and change the batteries very soon.

I know I need a plan of action...

1. I will try to come on daily to evaluate the day to keep me on track rather than weekly.

2. I am terrible for cramming a cereal bar (chocolate coated, 3 points) into my mouth when I am hungry. I need more fruit and veg in my diet.

3. I will keep attempting the excercise. It just hasn't happened this week. The exhaustion reigned.

If you are reading I would love to hear from you...

wasn't as bad as I thought...

I read Bryher's comment this morning and decided she was right - I did need to get back on the scales.
I was actually surprised - 236.6lbs - I think the last time I got on it was 238 and something.

So at least I'm not over my start weight I guess.

I went to the whole food, organicy kind of store last night and bought some fresh soups, clementines (only place i have seen them here) sugar snap peas (same) and am trying to make an effort now.

I guess the Starbucks will HAVE to go....

I don't think I have anything physical making me so tired - I go to bed around 10pm and my alarm goes off around 5.15am...maybe if it continues I will go check it out.

truth? I'm going nowhere.

Did you know that a Starbucks signature hot chocolate is 10 points! I have had more that one of those this week....oh wow.

Anyway this journey has hit a huge bump - and very early on as I have not really got anywhere.

No one to blame but me...

Work is exhausting - not an excuse - but we have more kids and less help from assitants due to all the budget cuts we have had. I feel like I am scrambling through the day and this is taking a toll on me. I eat whatever is convenient - not fast food or anything but snack all day, take long naps, never excercise.

I stay in bed as long as possible - my alarm goes off around 5.15am and I snooze and snooze andjust about get to school on time.

I got on the scales last week to see a pound on. I didn't even bother getting on this week.

I have asked hubby to go with me on walks or to the gym. I hope this will give me more energy.

I mean how can I even expect a result? I haven't pointed or excercised. Not to mention the starbucks thing.

It's like in my mind, I know what I need to be doing and so on. My body just isn't complying.

Help.....